Technique Post - 11/18/2007

I decided today to work on the 'to be' verb deletion bit we discussed and practiced in class a couple of weeks ago. I realized through the practical application of that idea that my writing drastically improved when I found more creative ways to describe or present ideas rather than habitually using a 'to be' verb variant. So, I decided first to use a paragraph selected from my first paper that we are revising for tomorrow's peer review.

Here's the original:

Rarely do students from homes where parents adopt mentoring roles engage in acts of social violence at school or other social arenas. In a Buffalo, New York, middle school a program was piloted in classrooms where trained fathers from the community came to volunteer. Surveys were taken before and after the program’s implementation, and results demonstrated that the involvement of responsible and caring adults in the classroom has a positive effect in decreasing students’ feelings of hostility (Vidal 1).

And here's the revised version:

Rarely do students from homes where parents adopt mentoring roles engage in acts of social violence at school or other social arenas. A Buffalo, New York, middle school piloted a program in classrooms where trained fathers from the community came to volunteer. Surveys administered before and after to the students and teachers demonstrated that involvement of responsible and caring adults in the classroom has a positive effect in decreasing students’ feelings of hostility (Vidal 1).

I realized that one just wasn't enough, so I drew a section from a Wikipedia article:

"Thanksgiving meals are traditionally family events where certain kinds of food are served. First and foremost, turkey is the featured item in most Thanksgiving feasts (so much so that Thanksgiving is sometimes facetiously referred to as "Turkey Day"). Stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, corn, turnips, rolls, pecan pie and pumpkin pie are commonly associated with Thanksgiving dinner. Often guests bring food items or help with cooking in the kitchen as part of a happy, communal meal" (Article "Thanksgiving").

Here's a revised version:

Thanksgiving meals have evolved into traditional family events where partakers enjoy certain kinds of food. First and foremost, turkey, the featured item in most Thanksgiving feasts (so much so that Thanksgiving is sometimes facetiously referred to as "Turkey Day"). Other foods commonly associated with Thanksgiving dinner include stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, corn, turnips, rolls, pecan pie and pumpkin pie. Often guests bring food items or help with cooking in the kitchen as part of a happy, communal meal.

Aren't they just better without all of the 'to be's?

Free Post #9, I believe

It's really difficult being a senior in my position. Ah - there's my tendency coming out in full color again! I have to continually correct myself on that note - being a senior in my position isn't difficult, rather: I am a difficult senior. In fact, I've never been all that great a student since high school, and this fact has been a prime factor in my many post-high school frustrations. I think that I am lazy - smart, but lazy.

My wife may have described it well the other day when she noted that I am one who expects excellent performance from myself, and am one who has always enjoyed high grades. Decent grades have always resulted from my academic endeavors, but oftentimes I feel that they aren't really representative of my intelligence. When motivation for schoolwork passes for me, then, I have a tendency to put things off until the last possible moment and THEN, after serious personal pushing, finish the work and take a grade which in my opinion is not representative of my intelligence, but is usually a good indicator of how much work I engaged upon the task. It's frustratingly fair.

I have over the most recent couple of years had an ardent desire to attain more strict individual discipline - especially when it comes to academics - but have on the whole been unable to do so. The natural man inside me somehow still manages to guide me down the path of least resistance, becoming complacent with mediocre academic performance, and becoming totally undemanding of self in almost all academic pursuits.

I've heard that "character is following through when the original motivation has passed." I'm following through, all right, but not in the style that I would prefer. But I can't apply myself any more than I have been! I just cannot understand myself!

Sometimes - many times, in fact - I feel that I'm letting down not only myself but those who depend on me for their futures. My wife is so supportive, and my little son has no other alternative but to submit. But submit to what? A sorry mess of a father, at least when it comes to preparing for a future by working as hard as possible in the present! I so wish that I could have the academic discipline of almost anyone else I know - and it isn't any easier witnessing the educational dedication displayed in my wife's family....I can't help but compare myself sometimes, and it's just maddening!

Anyway, it's almost over - I just can't wait!

Technique Post - 11/11/2007

So I've been dwelling on the nostalgia that is the armed services lately - mostly because tomorrow is Veteran's Day, and yesterday was the 232nd anniversary of the Marine Corps. I am proud to be a part of the tradition carried on in the Armed Forces of the United States, specifically the Marine Corps. On that theme, I am going to put together a WATCO, enthymeme, implicit assumption, etc.:

WATCO: What are the consequences of lowering standards of training into the Marine Corps on the quality of Marines in the Corps?

Enthymeme: Lowering the standards of recruit and candidate training into the Marine Corps would drastically damage the quality of the Marines in the Corps because lowering the standards of basic training would lower the minimum level of personal expectations for individual Marines.

Implicit Assumption: Anything that lower the minimum level of personal expectations for individual Marines will drastically damage the quality of the Marines in the Corps.

Thanks - Ciao.

technique post - 11/4/2007

So here we go with a practice enthymeme - lately I've been thinking quite a bit about the ridiculous failure that is the American two-party system in politics.

WATCO - What are the consequences of abolishing the two-party system in American politics on the representative legislative system of the republic?

Enthymeme - Abolishing the two-party system would improve the representative nature of the legislative system of the nation's representative government because abolishing the two-party stystem would allow voters to vote for representative individuals instead of a party platform.

Implicit Assumption - Anything that allows voters to vote for representative individuals instead of a party platform would improve the representative nature of the legislative system of the nation.

Enthymeme w/ A1 - Abolishing the two-party system would improve the representative nature of the legislative system of the nation because abolishing the formation of a Republican or Democratic Party would allow voters to vote for individuals regardless of their party affiliation and isolated from a hard-line party platform.

BAM - how'd'ya like dem apples?

Free Post #8

I wish that I were more disciplined. For instance, I am excellent at creating schedules - for myself and others - but I have such incredible difficulty holding myself to them!

For some reason I never want to do what I should do, and always want to do what I don't need to - for instance, even though a year and a half ago I couldn't torture myself into doing my homework for my chemistry class, now that it isn't part of my coursework I would gladly abandon my current phonetics homework to delve into the very same chemistry I so hated before! It's insane!

How can I become more disciplined? Is it even a matter of discipline? My inclination right now is that it is.

If it isn't a matter of discipline, then what is it? In the past I have attributed this strange behavior to my personal desires, in that if I didn't want to do something it must not be what I should be doing, what I really wanted. I would find the path of least resistance, the route that offered the least pain and the most gratification. Is that just a prolonged version of procrastination on a larger scale? Am I really just lazy? If this is what it is, then looking back on my life is depressing, and hurts.

If it isn't that, then what is it? Is it that I'm autodidactic? The only time I truly learn things is on my own without an instructor giving formal classes? That seems a bit more reasonable than the above alternative, but it still doesn't satisfy. If that's the way it has to be, then how does someone like me hack through life when formal education is practically a prerequisite for success?

I wish I were just more disciplined, bottom line.